"water plants" was the first item on my list for today.
I got to that one about ten minutes ago.
Today was a bad day. Not a terrible day, not a disastrous day, but an unhappy, bad day the kind of which beats the spirit right out of a person.
I'm still happy to have lived it, don't get me wrong on that. There were moments when I wanted to disappear. But I know I can't do that. That would be stupid.
There were other moments when my mantra worked.
I can have peace in this moment.
I'm, hmm, preparing to try meditation. I have no idea what I'm doing. It's like trying to learn to surf by reading a book. I never really put much stock into it. It always seemed too close to twirling. But then, there's plenty of good evidence that controlled breathing works, including personal experience. So maybe what I'm trying is more like breathing.
Anyway. there were moments. Finally I think I'm tired enough to sleep instead of lying there and thinking over all the things I did wrong, today and every other day I can pull from memory.
If not, I'll try breathing. I'm thinking it's a matter of discipline and practice.
We'll see.
