Day 75 took us past the windmills at sunset.
My fascination with them continues, so I took photos.
watched the sunset and thought about the troubling elements of the day.Shortly after we met, Spencer began calling me 'inside out girl.' I get it. I've heard it said in other ways. 'Emotionally open' is another. I've resolved it as an unfortunate side effect of whatever drives the art. After all, mostly what I make is about human beings examining themselves.
Now I see it in Orion. Sure, it draws. It is an attractive force.
'It's like a light,' they say. Childlike, idealistic and naive too, sometimes. Poppet-y and in its way, beautiful.
I see it in Orion. What I've learned though, is that this sort of vision(like everything else) has a price. It's a double-edged sword. I learn this late. Is it late? It feels late, like evening.Such honesty can lead to defenselessness.
Orion will be nine very soon. Is it time for him to gather some darkness around him? Shall I begin the lessons? I've been here before. Always reluctant to introduce fear. To pull back the curtain. 
Always I've headed toward the light. I've gone with my head down, learning in books, learning my craft, communicating through art and written words. Finally I looked around to find the road is very dangerous. Human beings are not at all like Poppets. In this world, one must wear armor. A balance then, of darkness and light. Always looking for beauty. Must I look for it now from behind a veil, one hand on my weapon? Is this where we are? If I grow a thicker skin, shut myself off a bit, will I still see what I see?
or rather,
Will I dream?
