Sunday, January 02, 2011

Day 14

A Sunday that doesn't seem like a Sunday, even though school resumes tomorrow. Cloudy, cold and gloomy here all day, reports of black ice on SoCal freeways. I read about disastrous weather in other places.
What's this thing with blackbirds?
I went out today to get wood for picture frames. Everyone I ran into seemed off too. Sort of , uncomfortable. I consider Deming's predictions for Americans. He was dead on about the unimaginably huge deficit, the crumbling of education and health care, the economy. The rest is grim and more grim.

I struggled through some work that would've taken half the time or effort on another day. Stupidly, really, stubbornly. The work finally began to come together. At about the time the metaphor for the piece clicked in, I realized that I'd pushed it because I wanted the work to go well. Because I believe that 'when the work is good, everything is good.' But, just because I believe something to be true doesn't mean that it is, or that it's a rubric to be applied continuously, that will always work without fail.

Really, how much of what we believe is actually true?
I wanted the work to be good, goddammit, because I wanted to feel... not off. Like a willful kid 'making' a puzzle piece fit. In fact, that choice to push the situation to support my belief, wasn't the best choice and goes against my 'master plan' which includes first and foremost to enjoy each day.
Silly human. So I stopped. Thankfully early enough to have time to hang out with my son.
It's a new year. Like most people, I'm thinking about things. I'm worried about the state of our society. I'm worried about the uncertain future. I'm worried about some of the people I love.
Anxiety is a condition of the modern human, for sure. Yes, Poppet, I hear you. I watch you watch me.
So I'm going to work smarter and not harder. I'll prepare for tomorrow morning, read and rest. Tomorrow is day 15 and I will continually make the effort.
continuous, continually, continue
Language is fun. We've got that going for us.
Stay safe out there.


Melissa P said...

It truly was an off day today. Just before the storm blew in, all the crows in the neighborhood gathered across the street. I really wanted to know what they were talking about--all 40+ of them. Plans were in the making, of that I am sure.

Have a good week.

Sherry Dale Rogers said...

Wow, thats a lot to comtemplate. Personally it seemed the whole holiday season was off and thats so freaky about the birds. Can we say "Twilight Zone".