I awoke from a nightmare from which I was begging to wake. Please be a dream, please be a dream, wake up, wakeupwakeupwakeup. Donned my scruffy old plaid robe, shuffled to the coffee maker, which was mercifully full and warm. Spencer left for work earlier, probably before things went bad in dreamland. Then, time is different there.
It's cooler today. No swimming. The sky is close and grey. The mountains are shrouded in thin blankets. No traffic and hardly even a hum of electricity. The birds sit quietly on the wires, paper silhouettes against the white. The crows are nowhere to be seen. If I spoke out here, it would be in a whisper. I go back inside. The news seems all either horrific or horrifically stupid. The anchor robotic, plastic and gleeful. Too bright. I turn it off. Silence.
Not a sound from you the last few days.
I'm compelled to ask: Is anybody out there? And, are you okay?
I can hear the kids playing down the hall, a happy cadence but muffled, distant. The only music to dare break this silence is classical. I'll put some on, not too loud, start bending wire for armature.
This is morning, day 83
10 comments:
I read your blog every day. You are on my blog roll. I rarely comment, because, well, you say t all. I envy your writing ability. I would like to write the way that you do.
To express my thoughts. My feelings. Maybe it's the feeling of vulnerability that keeps me from doing it.
Keep writing. It is a highlight for me to stop by and read your posts.
I'm here. I'm a close approximation to Ok - but not all the way ( There is no emoticon for "sheepish grin meant to distract you away from the honesty of that" which is why emoticons are safer sometimes.)
I always check as soon as you've updated to see what you've said or how you are doing - especially with our town and country mousedness of it all in those days before we knew each other, it would be impossible for me not to check. I might be too scared to say things these days ( and it will most likely pass - I think) but you are not alone .
Which seems weird to type after just watching Dr. Who for the last several days (I'd never seen it before - I know - bad SF editor . . . ) so I also feel like I need to assure you that I'm not hearing drums . . . . and while I do have a pocket watch that seems to be among the things that have mysteriously disappeared it doesn't look a thing like that . . .
I'm here too. Keeping the news to a minimum as it seems so overwhelming and utterly despairing. Perspective is needed. While the storm approaches, I sit quietly and play with yarn. Something hands on and homey feels just right these days.
I hope your day will bring you the kind of moments you can lose yourself in.
OH! Because of my Foppet Delivery Deadline yesterday i missed Orion's birthday! Please wish him a Happy belated Birthday from me! (Or Happy UNBirthday!)
Not here for a bit, but back now.
I've spent the past several days with family (LOTS of family, we're a right clan, with all the old connotations) for my 95-year-old grandmother's funeral. I thought that I would be a real mess, but the reverse is true: there was crying, of course, because we miss her. But the main emotions seemed to be joy and gratitude. Gratutude for having known such an amazing woman (and Gram was a force of nature, no other way to describe her), and joy that we could come together to celebrate her, her life, her love for us, and the love for each other that she gave all of us.
I'll probably be a mess for the next few days, but that's ok too, there's a place for that. And in its own way, that'a an OK way to be.
I'm here, reading you despite a cold and stubbornly refusing to listen to the news (too many disjointed haunting dreams already because of the medication).
I finished reading all your archives lately and found it strange to follow your children's un-aging (de-aging?).
Happy Birthday to your little boy; my youngest nephew is around his age.
I'm still here! I check blogger every night. Like Poe said, you say it all. When I finish reading an entry you've said it all.
But I'd like to do another Poppet animation. I'll email you or something. I thought I would do a different animation first but I'm not ready for it. A poppet short will be the perfect thing. But it will have to be scaled down a little because I'm not very incredible at hand drawn animation yet.
Yup, still out here in the aether. Whenever possible I check in once a day or so - if you're going to do a once-a-day post, I'm going to do my best to read it once a day. Seems only fair. Still keeping my nose above water, but hoping that the waves don't get any bigger....
I check your blog every day, I love reading it, I just don't always have much to say myself - I am always a better listener than talker :) I'm doing okay - its raining over here, and I have a tummy bug, but back to work tomorrow. Saw some lovely poppets on Etsy - I need to win the lottery so I can afford some more...
I just did not know what to say.
Post a Comment