Day 68

Most often it's clearly evident that Aubrey enjoys being Orion's big sister. Especially when he's screaming. But mostly, he's laughing. And learning. Some of the things he learns will surprise her one day. She may never know of others.

I like that they're starting to accumulate stories. Stories are important for brothers and sisters. I had a big sister. A big brother too. Stuff I learned from them is still with me.

Some of it isn't pretty. But there are memories that still hold a great deal of magic for me.

I must tell them.

They're not so big now, but I remember well when they were. We have stories.

My sister understood how to be present in her life. Maybe she didn't understand it, but she did it anyway. I watched her at it.

I can just touch that presence. I get bits and glimpses. I aspire still to find the faintest shade of her joy. She always wore it so easily, like a summer scarf thrown on as an afterthought, yet perfectly fitting. There was and is no one more beautiful to me than she.

My brother taught me how to ask questions and look things up. He had a microscope and planaria in his room. Once he secretly hatched chicks in there. I could've been Pinky to his Brain. I wasn't smart enough to know how weirdly cool he was. He taught me to draw. First he taught me to draw a cow. The second thing he taught me to draw was The Devil.

I'm not kidding.

I can still draw that devil. My cows really didn't get much better.

Right.

Tomorrow I must phone my sibs. Aubrey---go with joyful abandon. It's better if you and Orion have stories.

Now I'm going to have some fruit. And maybe I'll draw The Devil for you.

g'night