Saturday, February 26, 2011

Day 64, ghost of 63

I've skipped a day. What a slacker. It just sort of went by in a blur, yesterday. I painted poppets all day, in a cocoon of sorts--the work table, me and the cone of light shining down from behind me. Aubrey bustled about, packing orders, taking photographs and doing all the sorting and putting away of supplies. I heard her in the background but she was quiet. She knows me so well, this daughter of mine, knows when I'm lost in thought. Our quiet together is a comfortable one.

Today is cold and rainy. There's a winter storm for the area. The higher elevations are getting snow. The mountains are shrouded in clouds, pure white against the dark skies. Tonight will be cold for the desert--around 38 degrees. Yesterday Orion went to school in shorts. Things change fast. Last week I got an automated call from his school telling me that there would be no more salads served for a while. The lettuce crops were lost because of the previous cold snap.

I've been following the aftermath of the quake in Christchurch. It's all unsettling. The extreme weather this year on top of the base of unrest caused by the recession. We've changed. This family has. I look back and can see how different we are from four years ago. That seems like another life. I see myself, in my bikini by the pool, talking animatedly to the factory that was to cast poppets for us, looking over applications for new painters. Everything was moving fast and forward, up and up and up.

I look at us now. We're sober, but not solemn. We're smaller but stronger. We're more careful, but not fearful. We value laughter and each other and we appreciate what we have, knowing that things could get much, much worse.

You'd think it would be hard to make art when things seem so uncertain. To me, making art, or doing anything that you would normally do, is more important than ever. It's a show of faith to go on doing what I love. It's my stubborn belief that human beings need to keep trying to figure things out.

These are my thoughts this gloomy, rainy Saturday morning. My coffee is gone, so I'm off to make some art.

1 comment:

shu-shu-sleeps said...

I love your comments about making art in an uncertain time being important - because it is so true. It can be so easy in times of change/transition/chaos to lose track of who you are and what's important. Doing the things that you love are the expression of who you are - and ensuring you keep doing them means you don't lose yourself in coping with the change process. There's nothing sadder than losing sight of who you are. Thank you for the reminder - its been one of those weeks over here, and like you everyone here is worrying about our friends in Christchurch - such a gorgeous city, so much pain and so much hope coming through as people do what they love and find important. Shonna