Thursday, September 20, 2007

Where am I?????

Surreal. And more surreal. The light is different. It's in the 60's outside, breezy and cloudy with a high expected of 82. Is 'it' over? Do we little rats dare peek out heads out of our hiding places?

Yesterday morning Logan arrived. Alison went into labor at about 2am. Classically, Justin was sick with a cold and had just fallen asleep after a hefty dose of Nyquil when it all started. And after a long and tiring night, they were awarded their son, and my grandson.

Is this real? It ocurred to me in the shower (things are always clearer to me in water, go figure) that yes, it is. I don't look like a grandmother. Don't feel like a grandmother. But yes, a grandchild is here.

Hello mortality!

It seems to me that people react to this news in one of several ways: They run. Really fast. Trying to beat "it" to some imagined point in the future. Some level of success or wealth or other. It's where balding men buy convertibles and have affairs with students. Or women go back to college or color their hair ...or buy convertibles and have affairs with students.

Some people, who were already running, stop. They realize the future they imagined is now the present, and they begin to live in it.

And some, who already had a grip on things, just continue to live their lives.

I'm firmly entrenched into group 2. I've heard my brakes squealing for awhile now. Still, the concept of grandparenthood must contend with the concept of parenthood. I do, after all, have a 5 year old. Interesting, that.

It's not a collision so much as an intersection. An interection of sets, different realities, one blue, one red, making purple where they overlap.

We haven't been to visit the new baby yet because we've had a bug. Last night Orion's fever went up. His skin was hot and dry and I spent the night giving him Motrin and water and keeping a cool washcloth on his head. The fever broke at about 4 and I fell into a fitful sleep curled up on the end of his bed. In the morning, I woke to hear Pete on the phone with Orion's kindergarten. He'd driven Aubrey to school, taken a big bunch of Poppets to the post office and was loading the dishwasher, performing as the other half of the parenting machine we are.

So yesterday I helped Orion with his kindergarten homework. Talked to Alison on the phone. She was overcome with happiness and love for her new baby. I could hear him coo and cry in the background. I talked to my son Phillip in Georgia, who's dealing with the complexities of being twenty-something---college, work, relationships, questions, questions, questions. He wants to teach history. His years in Korea opened his eyes. That there is a whole world out there that's not America. That there is a bigger picture. A lot to take in. I try to give him reassurance, good advice.

I want to be in three places at once. The purple overlapping part is rich and full.

I'm not running. I don't realize when I stopped, exactly, just that at some point, I did. I'm looking forward to the work ahead. I can see now why they call one's fifties "the golden years." Don't get me wrong! I'm in no hurry to be in my fifties!! But I don't mind that I'm going there.

Because I look forward to the work.

Anyway. whew! Lots going on around here.

I'm going to list the last of the Purple Poppets, Black Poppets and Blue Poppets for this year. There won't be any more of these until next year, simply because time needs to be spent on other work.

Your artist can make anything, but she can't make everything, not in the time allowed. And I want to keep surprising you.

New baby. New weather. New work. Everything changes.

Where am I?

I'm right here. Thanks for checking in.


Carl V. said...

Please accept my most heartfelt and heartiest of Congratulations!!! He is so precious! Congrats to Alison as well.

I see my own child growing up so rapidly that I can certainly empathize with the feelings of mortality and the awareness that time is passing by much more rapidly than I am choosing for it to pass. If you find a way to truly put the brakes on, please share your secret!

I'm disappointed to learn that you cannot do everything. I had such hopes. ;)

Congratulations Grandma, you are truly blessed.

Janet said...

Congratulations on the birth of your newest grandchild! And thank you, thank you for the beautiful black poppet I received recently!

Chris said...

Congratulations to you and Alison! He's a beautiful baby :) And he sounds like he's part of a wonderful family...cheers!

Craig Steffen said...

Congratulations Lisa! Congratulations to Alison and Justin and good luck to Logan!

I'm not even a parent yet, but I agree with you that it's interesting what changes events precipitate in some people. Instead of having an acute mid-life crisis, I've sort of started to prepare. I've already changed careers from graduate school and I own a vintage car and I have an expensive hobby (pilot's license).

Don't feel like a grandmother.
If the wet-suit photos were any judge, you don't look like one either. ;-)

I bet it will be interesting for Orion to have a nephew at at 5. I've certainly known people who were in that position, but it's pretty rare.

Thanks for sharing. Yay!

Jancie said...

"The happiest days are those when babies are born." May he grow up to be everything he can dream.

Thank you for mentioning that there will be no more Blue Poppets until after the first of the year. I had just decided today that I need two more, but thought to wait for the next batch. Glad I read your blog. I'd have felt out of balance until the next batch is hatched.

Rubius said...

My Deepest and Most Heartfelt Congratulations to you and the whole (now larger) family!!!

I am so happy that it all went well. Very glad to hear Orion is feeling better.

You are the definitely the hottest granny I know! I had a moment a couple days ago where I stopped to wonder how Alison and the baby were doing and then realized you would be Grandma Lisa... it caused me to stop, blink and then reboot my own brain because it seemed very wierd to think of you as a grandmother.. you seem to have the energy of a 20-something and the wisdom of an octogenarian. You'll be a GREAT Oma!

May all the blessings of the world rain down upon little Logan.

(Always curious, I have to ask, is there a special significance to the name Logan?)

Davidk said...

Congratulations all around! May he enliven all of your lives!

Now you're really going to have to finish up those large-scale squeezable poppet dolls...



Mona said...

Congrats!! A new baby and fall in So's the best ever.

rachael said...

Stepping out of lurkdom to say Congratulations.
I love your work

Dan Guy said...


When I told Miranda you were soon to be a grandmother she didn't believe me. You certainly don't look it.

Stormfilled said...

Congratulations to you and Alison!

K said...

Many, many congratulations. He's so cute...

I hope all the bugs go away and you get to see him and Alison soon, soon.

Quixotic said...

Huge congratulations to Alison, you, and all the family. Baby Logan looks adorable, and he has a truly awesome Grandma!!

Anonymous said...