Prepare to be Surprised

 I should likely continue with my 'summer camp' analogy.    The temperatures are moving and there's no denying that some brutal months are coming up fast.  I want to say this will be my last summer in the desert.   I'm going to operate on that theory anyway.  It might make the summer months more bearable.

So, back to that summer camp analogy.  I've had several lean years recently.  Right.  I'm in a lot of good company.  And some real relationship upsets.  Can't have everything.  I told you I've learned that a girl needs a knife.  What else have I learned?   I've learned that interesting people aren't safe and that safe people aren't interesting.  I'm fairly convinced that the best approach is to decide which one of those things you are, and which one of those things you like in others,

 because you aren't going to get both.  

I'm also fairly convinced that there's a general rubric hiding in here, about being human.    I've wasted a fair amount  of time and energy trying to change certain things about myself.   For instance, I'd like to be one of those people who has an organized closet and always knows exactly where her phone is.  I'm not.  In fact, I'm not sure where my phone is right now.   I'd also  like to be one of those artists who exudes coolness and mystery. I'm not that either.  I wear jeans and ratty old sweaters and if something truly strikes me as funny, I might smack my leg like a hillbilly.  Yeah, I know. That's hot.

  I guess what I'm trying to say here is  you can't make something(or someone) fit if it just doesn't and you can change your habits, but not your hard wiring.  Some things just are what they are.  If we can know these things and accept them in ourselves and others, we might save ourselves some real wheel spinning and disappointment.  What if that which we want, simply...isn't?  Are we sure we know what it is we want?  Are we asking the right questions?

  It seems to be a matter of being honest with ourselves  about what we value most (like safety vs challenge)  and the stuff we can't change  (like hard wiring and height) and then working the details around the edges.

  It's harder than it sounds.  But the rewards are very high.

  Still, after all these words about knowing this and accepting that, there is the unexpected.  True surprise is a rare thing.  We can understand and still have a sense of wonder.  We are, after all, bigger inside than out.   And, once in a while, it rains unexpectedly in the desert.