Safe and Sound
are only words until they're gone. If we're lucky, they'll come back
and give us another chance at understanding what they are.
Every now and then I imagine myself at some later time, talking about this particular 'processing' period. I'm not sure when this imagined future is, but in it, I don't feel lost and most of the things I'm struggling with have been figured out. I'm not sure when I labeled my present as 'summer camp,' but there it is. I can write home while I'm here, but not with perspective. Perspective has to come on its own time. Still, I think I'm getting somewhere with this one, about sleeping safe and sound. I only now begin to understand what I lost when my own spaces were violated. And how fortunate I am to be on the mend. Or even to have ever felt safe in the first place.
And I've decided, learning this, to cut myself a little slack. I'm not going to exempt this exam and I might need an extra pencil.
Maybe you've gone through something and you're plowing through and soldiering on, assuming that functional means sanity, patting yourself on the back for being brave, for pushing your hurt aside so you can do a good job, be a good parent, finish one more project. You're determined to out-think, out-run and out-perform after a shake up. All that's admirable, but maybe not so realistic. These unexpected life events change us profoundly and sometimes all it takes is to acknowledge their importance. That we're change by them is part of what makes us human and that, as humans, we're going to be lost sometimes. It's our nature. Don't forget to be kind to yourself during the transitions. It's when you'll need it most. Remind yourself that you won't stay lost. Because, you won't.