It's 10:45. I started working today at 7:30 a.m. I'm having a glass of wine now. It's a good glass of wine, but I'm still having it at home, and I'm still working. What a loser.
I knew there would be days like this. I didn't know there would be years like this. Is the recession going away or getting worse? One out of every eight mortgages is in foreclosure. Is this true? The ice caps are melting. California has no freaking snow pack. Again. Snow pack, btw, is where we get our water.
I mentioned the commercial that scared Orion. I found it online. Look at this. This is the commercial that assaulted Orion (7) in the middle of the afternoon while watching SpongeBob SquarePants on Cartoon Network. I wrote them a scathing email, but I don't expect an answer.
What the hell? Is this appropriate for a 7-year-old? Shouldn't I be able to trust that he can safely watch afternoon cartoons without seeing something that will give him nightmares for a week? I'm totally pissed off.
I'm an artist on this tiny pellicle of earth, trying to make some sense out of things that just don't. I do my best. I recycle. I'm not wasteful. Evey time I leave my house or watch the news I feel bombarded with excess and stupidity.
There are over 100 golf courses in this desert. Right. With grass. Thirsty, thirsty grass.
I remember my parents talking late into the night, quietly sitting together at our dinner table with drinks or coffee. They were angry too, and afraid, I would imagine. They talked about the recession of the 70's. Before that, the Cuban Missile Crisis. Very scary human stuff. I was oblivious, mostly, thanks to the insulation of being a kid in the seventies. It was the end of the world then too.
So, the end is nigh. Of course it is. What kind of arrogance would make anyone think humanity would last forever? Five hundred years from now the end will be nigh. Next week too.
The end is always nigh. The end was always nigh.
So, screw it. Forget it. I didn't make this mess. I just live here. Tonight I'm going to sleep. Tomorrow I'll look for beauty in the moments of the day.
It's the best this silly human can do. Honestly, between you and me, I have Poppets to thank for that.
No kidding.
6 comments:
I wasn't raised with parents talking quietly about actual political events, I was raised with Apocalyptic views. "The end is nigh" indeed. My parents converted to a religion that has a strong "end times" believe. Eschatological denominations are common, and this is one of the big ones. They converted in 1974. This particular religion strongly insinuated that the end was coming in 1975.
Of course, it didn't, and they had to revise their suggestions to make it appear as though a few hasty people had "run ahead" of bible prophecy and invented an end date. Regardless, the end times teaching persisted, and still persists for that faith and for many others.
A youtube video that shows in graphic detail the belief that I was raised with. The video is public discourse set to images that illustrate the beliefs. WARNING: extremely graphic and disturbing.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fwA9KX5WJTM
I was raised believing that I wouldn't make it through high school before Armageddon, then my early adulthood, then the year 2000. Waking up from that fever dream was the hardest thing I've ever done, but I'm glad I did.
Even though I look around every day and am concerned about the state of the environment, and the political scene, and proliferation, ice caps, ozone... even though... I know that it is not the same as the false sense of urgency I was raised with. And for that I am very thankful.
Sadly, my parents and other family members still wave their little symbolic "the end is near" signs. To them, "the end is near" is synonymous with "Stacey, believe as we do or God will kill you, soon. Very soon."
Creepy.
P.S., I would have been very upset about that commercial too. Absolutely inappropriate content for programming geared towards small children.
That video is totally inappropriate for children viewing hours. If I'd seen that at Orion's age, I wouldn't have slept for weeks. (mind you, Daleks gave me nightmares, I was a scaredy cat)
The advertising director/scheduler must have checked their brains at the door.
*chuckles* I remember fallout shelters and yes, the nuns at school teaching us the "duck and cover under the desk" move.
I think I've been angry big picture-wise for a long time. Still outraged after all these years. I figure it just means I'm still paying attention.
But oh yes- here and now are good, have beauty, have worth. If I look around with my eyes truly open, which I don't do all the time.
So yeah Lisa- there's the little job of finding the beauty and then -your- job, Ms. Artist, to create something from it.
Mine too....just different form of creating.
We know there will be days/months/years like this. We also know that that's not ALL there is and they will pass.
I remember when I was 8, I inadvertedly saw a very gory part of Nightmare on Elm Street 3. I had an awful week, indeed.
That was, indeed, extremely inappropiate. Hope he'll "forget" that soon.
Btw, i created this: http://www.orkut.com/Main#Community?cmm=94600562
for those of us who use orkut.
Oh. Hell. No.
Write one email, after another, until you get a response. Find someone who will listen.
I cannot believe it, the fact that it was sandwiched between the broadcast of a children's show?
Outrageous.
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