Monday, January 24, 2005

Fake butter and Big, Big Shoes

So it's January 24. I wake up planning to have a typical day of work, both studio and household. I turn on CNN only to have my plans derailed by the news that I'm supposed to be depressed today. Diasporian News of Monday, 24 January 2005
Being a good sheep, I opt to make a cup of coffee and mope. Staring into the refrigerator can be depressing on many levels. So, I stare.
I notice there are three different tubs of margarine on the shelf.
Being me, I decide to perform a taste test.
I have here:
Original Parkay "The flavor says BUTTER!" 60 calories per serving, 60 from fat
Land O Lakes Fresh Buttery Taste spread "Where simple goodness begins" 80 calories/serving 80 calories from fat
Country Crock Plus Calcium "Slow down, think good thoughts...inside this crock." 50 calories/serving 45 from fat
Land O Lakes comes way out in front, taste wise, reminiscent of butter, actually, in a pinch. Country Crock would be pretty good had I not tasted the Land O Lakes already. Parkay falls way, way behind, tasting not even remotely like butter and somewhat like Crisco.
I'm still not depressed.
You might have noticed the Coffee Monster lurking in the photo. He is one of my favorite possessions, and was created by Jeff Coleman, Creatures and Gargoyles whom I haven't seen in several years but I understand is still sculpting wonderfully imaginative creatures. I must remember to send him a hello.
It is indeed gloomy, but Aubrey is restless so I take her to a couple of thrift stores, which are picked -over and gloomy. They must have known about Jan 24.
I find a pair of size 16 Converse Allstars, nearly new. Only someone who wears a size 16 shoe (I don't, Pete does) can appreciate this find. Pete muses that the owner must've died early into ownership. I find a print of a sheep to add to my collection. Total $9.25.
It reminds me of myself, the sheep print, as I wait in the drive-thru line for Aubrey's Frappachino. Which comic describes a training program for Starbucks employees as: one hour to learn to make the coffees, eight hours to learn not to laugh at people who pay $4.50 for one???
Hope your Jan 24 wasn't terribly gloomy. But, at any rate, it'll be over soon.

2 comments:

Maureen said...

I had a friend who was born on January 24th. He would've taken a certain sarcastic delight in finding he was born on the most depressing day of the year. And his favorite color was grey. I sense a theme there.....

A sheep print is perfect. Original art of sheep is somehow not as completely sheep-like as something that is mass produced. Maybe Dolly wasn't just a science experiment, but an art statement?

Oh look! It's the 25th (at least here)

lisa said...

Maureen, I like your friend already. I believe, water is water. Filtered is good, but $46.00 per case is stupid. UNLESS, of course, Voss is donating the $40 over a reasonable charge for water to people who don't even have drinkable water. Maybe they are? Sure, ok.